Discussion on Offbeat n Jokes in General Forum at TeluguPeople.com

Today's Joke

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Surinder's uncle was booked into an SIA flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an airplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!" So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher, who was curious about the food. "Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, "Milk of India!" Then the uncle took out several pieces of rotis and started feasting. "And what is that dish?" asked the curious American. "Wheat of India!" replied the uncle proudly. Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American. "What is it?" asked the American. "Sweet of India!" replied the old man. After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud "Phaaaaaarrrrrrr!" from the uncle. "What was that?" asked the American in disgust. The old man replied coolly, "Air India!!!"

Posted by: Mrs. Aruna At: 21, Jan 2003 11:02:51 AM IST

Once a drunkard was going in his cycle without lights at night. A cop stopped him and told him that he would be fined for not having lights on his bicycle. The drunkard replied, "Arre bhai saheb! Mein to binaa cycle mein light ke chala rahaa hoon… peeche dekhiye… uske paas to cycle hi nahin hai!"

Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 11, Jan 2003 4:48:39 PM IST

A clever elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted, so she told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, an emerald bracelet, and a gold Rolex." "But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist pointed out. "I know," she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. If he remarries right away, I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry

Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 10, Jan 2003 5:31:00 PM IST

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 22, Nov 2002 3:38:39 PM IST

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to complete this!," Laloo brags. "5 Months? That's too long for a simple jigsaw puzzle." the friend exclaims. "You fool!", Laloo replies "See the box for this puzzle... it says - For 4 -7 YEARS."

Posted by: Mrs. kala ch At: 22, Nov 2002 3:33:22 PM IST

well friends..say today's JOKES! A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat? A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you do when a Surd throws a pin at you? A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday? A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the surd doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did the surd stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do surd work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the surd do when he noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: He turned it over and used the other side. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you confuse a surd? A: You don't. They're born that way. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you keep a surd in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you keep a surd busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't surd make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did the surd try to kill the bird? A: He threw it off a cliff. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? A: because below 18 was not allowed !!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a surd and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men like surd jokes?? A: Because they can understand them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What does a surd say when you ask him if his blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you get when you offer a surd a penny for his thoughts? A: Change. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a surd in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a surd with half a brain? A: Gifted! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you see when you look into a surd's eyes? A: The back of his head. -------------------------------------------------

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 22, Nov 2002 3:17:06 PM IST

A bloke is driving around in the Australian bush and because it`s Australia his truck has got a `roo bar` on the front that protects it if he hits a kangaroo. Suddenly he hits something, so he gets out and sees that there`s a pig wedged between his `roo bar` and his truck. He tries to get it out but it`s stuck tight, so he gets on his CB radio and asks for advice. `Breaker breaker. I`ve got a pig stuck behind my `roo bar. How can I get it out?` A reply comes back, `Just slice open the pig and let the guts spill out. The pig will fall out.` So the guy does this and as predicted the pig falls straight out. `OK, I`ve cut open the pig and it`s out, but now I`ve got another problem.` `What is it now?` says the bloke on the radio. `What do I do with his motorcycle and helmet?`

Posted by: Mr. Prathap KORA At: 19, Nov 2002 12:58:44 PM IST

wow hates OFF for all those lovely jokes.. Whether the Microsoft and Madhuri or the Sardarji feeding the dogs!!!! keep up the good spirit ladies!!!

Posted by: Mr. Srinivas Rao Adapa At: 13, Nov 2002 0:09:56 AM IST

i Friends! My Favourite Hero is BRUCE LEE ! So, now I'll introduce him to you all. But I'm requesting you - that if you'll laugh that will be not my PROBLEM. My favourite hero is Bruce Lee. What is Bruce Lee 's Favourite vegatable ? Mu Lee What is Bruce Lee's sister -in-law's name? Saa Lee What is Bruce Lee's Fav. Breakfast? Id Lee What is Bruce Lee's Fav. Festival ? Diwa Lee Which is Bruce Lee's Fav. Actress ? Sona Lee What is Bruce Lee's Fav. Music ? Qawa Lee Which is Bruce Lee's Fav. Film ? Coo Lee Which is Bruce Lee's Fav. Hill Station ? Kulu Mana Lee How did Bruce Lee die? By a Go Lee When did Bruce Lee die ? Final Lee Do you know who made this Profile ? Banga Lee ! --------------------------------------------- NEW RELEASES - CRICKETER'S BOOKS (WORLD CUP SPECIAL) 1.How to lose a winning match - Md.Azharuddin. 2.How to give fielding practice to opponents - Rahul dravid. 3.One Man Army - Sachin Tendulkar. 4.Next match is on Sunday - Anshuman Gaekwad

Posted by: Miss Shital At: 12, Nov 2002 5:34:11 PM IST

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