Discussion on Offbeat n Jokes in General Forum at TeluguPeople.com

paata jOkulu Revisited

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Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Dec 2006 3:08:23 PM IST

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Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Dec 2006 3:07:00 PM IST

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Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Dec 2006 3:03:54 PM IST

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Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Dec 2006 3:03:17 PM IST

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Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 16, Dec 2006 3:01:13 PM IST

:-))

Posted by: Mr. ■Gumpulo Go!Vindam √ At: 13, Dec 2006 7:45:41 PM IST

Emerging 'isms' of the new Economy. INFOSYSism You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking. WIPROism GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk. DELLism Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk. IBMism You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen. MICROSOFTism You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows. INTELism Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don't run fast. SUNism You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft. ORACLEism You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows. SAPism You don't have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants. APPLEism You have a cow. You sell iMilk. SONYism You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk. CITIBANKism Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you. HPism You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only. GEism You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work. RELIANCEism You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk. TATAism You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 12, Dec 2006 2:06:29 PM IST

This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long ilness..... one fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum chalayenge.., tum peechhe baito". driver, "Par saab aapki tabyat?.." amitabh "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau.....Hain" Ok then he starts driving the car very fast....zoooooooooom breaks one red signal... breaks second red signal.... breaks on more red signal... Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the car to be sided to the road.. Tells the driver to come out... "Chalo liscence dikhao,puc, gaadi ke kagjaaat..." Sees amitabh "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to see him.... Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers.... "Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..." Sir"KYun kya hua??" Havaldar:"Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda he aur maine us gaadi ko side me rakha he" Sir: "To phir?" hawaldar:"SIr, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein uska challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye .., ho sake to SSP ko bhee layen" Sir"KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??" HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR PAR USNE NE HE NA SIR ... AMITABH BACHHAN KO DRIVER RAKHA HE....".

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 12, Dec 2006 1:59:24 PM IST

Munna Bhai Jokes ... PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jante ho? MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut zabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin maloom ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai. ***** CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, woh Sabrina ka baap aya hai tere ko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaoon gayea hai, kheti karne ko. MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na. ***** CIRCUIT : Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please. MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya? CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega. ***** MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai? CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai. MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai? CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi. ***** Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti. ENGLISHMAN : What is this? CIRCUIT : Bread India Circuit then open the box of jalebi. ENGLISHMAN : What is this? CIRCUIT : Sweet India With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ... ENGLISHMAN : What is that? CIRCUIT : Air India ***** CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai? SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai. ***** PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500. MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 12, Dec 2006 1:56:50 PM IST

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.She went downstairs looking for him. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw tears rolling from his eyes as he sipped his coffee. "What's the matter with you, my dear? Why are you down here at this time of the night?" she asked. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked. "Yes, I do," she replied. "Do you remember when your father caught us while dating?" "Yes, I do remember," she replied. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?" "Yes, I do," she said, getting a little teary- eyed herself at his fond recollection. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... I would have been released today."

Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 14, Jul 2006 10:36:45 AM IST

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