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General Forum: Society | | idee lOkam ! | |
| Our children... let us handle with care
B.O. SEBASTIAN
"YOU ARE not interested in me; you are not bothered about my studies and future."
Dear Friends, would you be able to digest the above words if they were addressed to you by your son or daughter? Each one of us will proudly say: "My child will not and cannot say like that." Let us pat ourselves on our backs and be proud of our children.
It was on December 5, 1987 that a gentleman stepped into my house and in the course of our conversation mentioned that the above statement had been made by his son. You can imagine the feelings of that parent. A similar incident took place a few months later when a boy said to his parent in my presence: "You need not advise me. I know what type of people you are. I can prove it. First correct yourself." The parent was dumbfounded. Though I am not exaggerating, I do agree with you that these are stray incidents and we cannot and should not generalise.
I do not blame the children for their statements. I feel that these are the messages that these children had carried for 10 or 12 years. Both of them were studying in Standard X.
A powerful sensitive tape
The child is a powerful sensitive tape that can register and record or pick up the feeblest vibration. He or she is a living computer that projects in future all the recorded programmes that we feed in.
What do our children register? Is it fear, shame or hatred? If so, we are failing in our duty. As Dorothy law Holtz said, "Let our children live and grow with tolerance, encouragement, praise, fairness, security, approval, acceptance and friendship so that they will learn to be patient, confident, appreciating, just, to have faith in and have a liking for themselves and find love in the world. On the other hand, if the child lives with criticism, hostility, ridicule, and shame, they learn to condemn, to fight and to feel guilty."
If we all do agree that children are the most precious assets of the nation, they should be handled with care. Don't you think that their future depends on us and ours in turn on them?
If we accept that life is the greatest gift of God, the gift of children is second to none. So it is our bounden duty to work and live for their welfare. Let our children grow in love and concern so that they may cultivate a sense of belonging to their family, to their society and to their country.
The parents, teachers and all the well wishers of a child have roles to play for the growth, development and the blossoming of the character of a child. If the parent is the first teacher, and a teacher a second parent, all of us are friends, guides, philosophers and counsellors to our children and to all children entrusted to our care.
Then, shall we not say a word of encouragement which instils confidence in them? A harsh word kills initiative. Shall we not congratulate them when they do things well, get good marks, act, sing, dance, speak and play well? A smile, a kind word or a gesture of approval will go a long way in their growth.
Shall we not make them feel that we care for them and that they are important?
Defenceless
Don't you think that our children are the most defenceless at home and in the school? They are easily suspected. Are not we prejudiced that they are telling lies? Don't you feel that they are most hurt when let down, when misunderstood, mistrusted, when their honesty is questioned, when punished without sufficient reason?
A hurt feeling can surely become a lasting feeling which may have something to tell upon their character. They are the most delicate living beings who need a lot of support. One can make or break them.
We are in the midst of contradictions. Though we do not want our children to be tied to our apron strings, we want them to confide in us without any reservation and rise up to our expectations. Though we are very much interested in the welfare and bright future of our children, all of us are not quite aware of their likes and dislikes, inborn talents and dormant abilities.
Although we are overjoyed in their achievements when they win laurels, we do sometimes make derogatory, offensive, humiliating remarks which are detrimental to their personal growth.
Our nation's slogan is "Happy child - nation's pride." And this is the message our children want to share with us...
Feb 19th 2006 The Hindu
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 5:33:57 PM IST
Where are role models?
SATISH K. SHARMA
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India is passing through a critical phase when the crisis of values is so serious that words like idealism and altruism sound like the wearied notes of an old song
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THE CASE of an IAS officer from Bihar, who was hailed as a young achiever by Time magazine, and who is facing a criminal case now, points to a trend — ephemerality of role models. It is the age of disposable idols — sources of inspiration for a few days and then for the dustbin.
I grew up in an age when one did not have to stir out of one's middle-class house to look for examples to follow. There were many within the joint family, in the neighbourhood or at least in the school. Most parents set a personal example of proper conduct to their children. There was no dearth of good Samaritans within the neighbourhood, and most teachers were a dedicated lot.
Most political leaders were true to their cause, and professionals such as lawyers and doctors evoked awe by their proper conduct and dedication to the profession. Persons from every field — film stars, sportspersons, writers, and journalists — commanded respect. That was in the sixties.
As the seventies came, the number of such `proper' persons declined in all fields, yet there was no dearth of people whom you could look up to. Then came the eighties and with that came television, which bared everything. The chips began to fall from the idols and they became smaller and smaller. In the nineties all hell broke loose and by the dawn of the millennium the few true role models that remained got overwhelmed by cynical people in every field.
Look around today. Who are the leading lights of any fields and what are they doing? Take a Sachin Tendulkar. I like it when he scores runs and returns back from his father's funeral the next day, and scores a century. But when my young daughter asks why does he endorse Coke or Pepsi, which we have been telling her is bad for health, what do I tell her? Who cares for a Pullela Gopichand who refused to endorse the drink saying he could not recommend something which he thought was harmful. Can we visualise a Dilip Kumar or Guru Dutt promoting products as Amitabh Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan and Aamir Khan do? Look at the best of lawyers and doctors. Are they not obsessed with money? The IAS and IPS officers, teachers, professors, what are they today?
Look at the successful writers. Some of them are truly the masters of the art of writing but do we not value them because they sell more? And do they not sell more because of the media campaigns about the fat advances for their books? Look at the business icons. Yes, they are creating wealth but can they fill the vacuum created by J.R.D. Tata? I am sure you could mention a few inspiring names from each field but what is the common denominator?
During the recent much-publicised visit of Bill Gates to India, my teenaged daughter asked me about the purpose of his visit. On my asking why she wanted to know, she told me there was a discussion in her class and most students believed that he had come here only to promote his business and the charity was only a cover. I told her that perhaps they were wrong. I had to commandeer all the figures about the money he was spending on charities to convince her. She did not argue but I knew if she did, I would not have been able to answer all her questions, for cynicism has already taken root in her as in most people of her age.
India is passing through a critical phase when the crisis of values is so serious that words like idealism and altruism sound like the wearied notes of an old song, which can evoke good memories for the old but have lost their relevance even as a topic of discussion with the youth, for whom the buzz word is: make hay while the sun shines.
Warped value system
When you have a beauty queen who proclaims a Mother Teresa as her ideal to win the title but later makes a career of doing Item Numbers in kitschy Bollywood movies, or you have sugared-water endorsing sports icons as role models instead of a Vijay Amritraj or you have the media hailing such youths as young achievers whose route to success is through their paternity, how do you expect the youngsters to shape? If today, they lack proper conduct and have a warped value system, the blame must be shared by society.
(The writer is an IPS officer)
The Hindu,April 9th ,2006
Well,what do u think?
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 5:25:34 PM IST
I feel the first two articles below convey what I feel too.
How many people have said "I won't read this thread" so far?
People spend hours and hours on quite useless things and do not show even a 1 in millionth of that interest in just knowing what reaally is happening around us,in society,in the country and in the world.
Isn't it very sad that we tend to make all silly excuses for not doing what we ought to do?
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 5:19:08 PM IST
Has the generation truly awakened?
VIDYA VENKAT
I BELONG to a community of Indian youth that believes in steering clear of any form of socio-political participation primarily because there are better things to do in life — study, earn a degree, get a job, get married perhaps and while away spare time watching TV (not NDTV but MTV), hanging around coffee shops with friends or best, flirting. But sometimes this other voice within me grows so loud that it hinders the path of hedonistic pursuits.
The first time this voice emerged was when I was in Plus Two; all my friends were busy preparing for the Boards but I was deeply distracted by the Godhra carnage and wondered how in a democratic nation politicians could manipulate the underprivileged sections by injecting religious fanaticism. In school, being the magazine editor, I persuaded the staff to help organise an oratorical and essay writing contest, promising to feature the best speaker and writer in the school magazine that year.
Only two participants came forward for the oratorical contest on "Godhra carnage: who is behind it?" The teachers wanted me to lure more students to join it with the prospect of even winning certificates. On approaching some fellow friends and juniors, I received some really lazy responses such as I have maths homework, records submission, no time to prepare, etc. One junior crossed the limits of effrontery by asking me "How come you chose such a `boring topic'? Who wants to talk about Godhra carnage?"
In college too, among fellow students I could see this study-study-and-get-a-degree attitude. I took up a part-time reporting job with a local English magazine which showed more inclination towards celebrities, gossip, fashion and beauty. Human interest stories were rare and only published when `pages had to be filled up.' Luckily I got an opportunity to do some substantial research work for a documentary on "Village markets in Tamil Nadu" for Prasar Bharati and got to meet people from the farming/small scale-industrial community in Chengam, Tiruvannamalai during field-work.
Witnessing the plight of the poor farmers, who were terribly affected by scanty rain and consistent crop failures, further fuelled the fire within me. I wanted to see a better society. Our government, Constitution, judiciary will remain disabled so long as the people wielding them are reluctant to sacrifice their instinct for self-preservation.
Even the media, I realised, was largely exploiting the sufferings of people for `story material' and catering to the elite; what actually matters is `sensitisation' but the media largely `sensationalises.' Awareness can be created not through witty sound bytes or crisp headlines but only through careful documentation of events and persistent social activism.
Social activism
My inner longing to take to social activism and work for the underprivileged in society was further raised by a reading of Mahasweta Devi's writings. In her I found a perfect role model to emulate. To write about the suffering masses, to lobby for the rights of the deprived, all these became part of my dreams. But questions such as how will I earn sufficient money for my survival and how will I contribute to the family income dogged me alongside.
Also the youth today are subjected to such compelling social pressures as living up to the expectation of parents, meeting social standards of living and fulfilling personal aspirations in a competitive world that to devote one's 100 per cent to social causes becomes impossible. Treading the road less travelled has never been an easy choice to make and in a climate of uncertainty and lack of support most people are bound to suppress such a call (if there has been any).
I strongly feel this generation will not awaken, not unless the underprivileged masses themselves stoke a revolution to the proportions of a French Revolution. And in the recent Jehanabad prison attack by naxalites I could clearly see Bastille repeating itself. Because when people refuse to wake up you have to pour hot water over their faces.
(The writer is a student at Madras Christian College)
The Hindu 26th march 2006
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 5:14:02 PM IST
Our muddled generation
DINESH KUMAR
Somewhere along the line, young people have started to mistake bad manners for confidence
THERE IS a bright young person sitting across the table. The clothes and the looks are perfect. He/she could well be a model. Our job is to interview these young people for a management position in our company. My colleague asks them some questions about their background — engineering, arts or commerce — and the answers border on ignorance. So we ask, do you read newspapers? Evasive answer: sometimes. What is your opinion on freedom of the press? Oh, we should not give them absolute freedom. What do you want to do in life? Make a lot of money.
In the middle of the interview we notice that the young person is uncomfortable. The hand goes to the pocket, but stops. "It's OK," we say, "You can take your call." The young person smiles sheepishly. "It was on buzzer," the person says, as if that explains everything. We look at each other, how can we take this person in the company? And yet, most people whom we interview are clones, speaking the same things without any conviction in their voice. "I want to do something for the country or for the poor," they say, without having any idea as to what they would like to do for either the poor or for themselves.
Evasive and irresponsible
Reports say that 80 per cent of the people coming out of India's colleges are unemployable. As one who is in contact with the young generation, I would disagree only with the figure. Interacting with the youth, I can only say that a good 90 per cent of the youngsters are unemployable simply because they are evasive and irresponsible. Somewhere along the line, young people have started to mistake bad manners for confidence. They do not want to do anything but make a lot of money.
It is not that they are useless: most speak good English and are confident of themselves. They are aware of the latest ring tones, movies and jokes. But when one goes a little beyond, they stare at me with dull eyes. They want to earn a "lot of money," thanks to the media hype and salary surveys published regularly, but they do not have skills that will help them earn that kind of money.
Their degrees are suspect: ask them a few questions on their graduation subjects and most young people flounder quickly. As for extra reading, nobody reads anything of consequence.
But there are other questions also. Questions about ethics and behaviour, about what you are good at, about how you spend your spare time. And then, these confident young men and girls flock to me with confused looks, "What should I answer to these questions?"
It is no good telling them that it is their life and they should tell me about themselves, because they always want readymade answers, to say something that will help them get through. "If I practise it long enough, I will make it look true," they say. So overnight young people become avid readers, guitar players, star batsmen and even gardeners. I wonder if any interviewer is foolish enough to buy their half-baked stories.
Rolling stones
As India moves forward we have produced an unthinking generation whose sole objective is to live a good life without doing anything. It appears we are creating too many rolling stones, without a vision, without commitment or morals. Given a choice between saving their skin and doing something worthwhile, most young people respond that they would rather save themselves.
There is supposed to be some idealism when you are young; your ideas may not make sense but you are willing to stand up for a cause. These days the young do not have any passion towards any cause. Listening to the well-rehearsed answers of the generation, I understand that the new mantra is money. Anyone who talks of something more meaningful is outdated.
The Hindu 26th march 2006
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 5:10:50 PM IST
Deep in slumber or helpless?
ARJUN NARAYANAN
AT LEAST for the past 100 or 200 years, the youngsters have been brought up in a highly turbulent society. Hence let us be honest and accept the fact that every generation of youth has been muddled in some way or the other. Icons such as Gandhiji, Vivekananda or Bhagat Singh were brought up in such a way that they developed a passion to serve, an ability to demarcate between the right and the wrong and hence built nerves of steel for themselves.
The environment then was no less depressing than it is today. The Gandhis and Nehrus could have easily become successful barristers and magistrates instead of plunging themselves into a lifetime of struggle. But they dared to be different and brought about a revolution within themselves and imparted that spark to everyone around them. If I ask my friends about Gandhiji, some do agree with his universally accepted greatness. But instead of accepting their inability to emulate the man who personified sacrifice and greatness, most of them have something else to say: "His ideas are obsolete and do not apply to the current scenario... We can't relate ourselves to his ideas... Don't you have anything better to talk about... You can't talk of non-violence in a violence ridden society... "
Petty strikes
Usually youth is associated with revolutionary thoughts, which are often impulsive and romantic. But even these impulsive instincts are missing today. The "nothing will change" attitude continues and we turn a blind eye to everything unpleasant around us.
Being a college student I too see many students conducting the so called revolutionary activities which are nothing more than a few petty strikes the reasons for which are as silly as the protesters themselves. The students too cooperate and why not when the teachers themselves stand there helplessly! In fact most of them are not even aware of the reasons for which the strikes are called.
Most of the leading political parties have got their own student wings and use them to meet their own ends.
Quite often it is seen that parents burden their children with dreams of their own. Moreover parents are burdened by the questions put forward by friends and relatives such as "What is your son doing... Why is he doing this and why not that?" As a child, I was asked a question by many people "Do you want to be a doctor or an engineer?" Such questions put a notion into our head that the world of education ends with a few conventional courses.
Unsung heroes
The media has made name, fame and money look like two minute noodles. Survey of the most powerful is carried out with extensive coverage leaving the unsung heroes to rot and die. Who is more successful — the corporates building an empire of their own or the social activists who bring a smile on the faces of millions but shun publicity? While exclusive coverage is given to Fashion weeks and page 3 parties, not even a quarter of that time is dedicated to the Medha Patkars of the country. Hence we get a notion that to gain respect and popularity, you need money.
Who is to blame? The parents who want to see their sons and daughters in a financially secure position, the teachers who are forced to finish the textbook cover to cover by March, or the youngsters who feel compelled to tread the conventional path?
What the youngsters require is not just guidance but a mass movement which will beckon them to serve their motherland and an instilling force of pride which will develop in them a sense of responsibility to preserve their heritage which might otherwise soon die out or live under the mercy of the remix culture. Unfortunately, today the term youth icon is restricted to some known faces from the self advertising page 3 circuit and we rarely look up to those from other sectors of society.
Open space,The Hindu,16/4/2006
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 5:05:51 PM IST
More user-friendly people wanted
MUKUL SHARMA
The other day on an old Seinfeld serial re-run, stand up TV comedian Jerry Seinfeld said something really funny but also utterly true. Why is it, he wanted to know, young children can make friends at the drop of a hat whereas grownups can’t, don’t or won’t? Like, he said, it takes a little kid only to tell another kid he or she’s met for the first time, “Oh you live on our block too? Right, then you’re my friend.”
End of story. Or even, “Oh you live directly opposite my house? Gee, then you’re my best friend, let’s play.” No ifs or buts or “Let’s see if we can get together later this week.”
On the other hand, the kids’ parents will only nod and mumble at each other’s existence from a safe distance for years on end as in “Hi how’re you doing?” to get a “Good, good, I’m good,” response in return. It’s as if, if they made friends with each other something horrible will happen to their lives and the world in general.
By the time we’re 20, 30 or 40 something, we’ve whittled down our friendship universe to a handful of three or four, tops — if that — including a couple of mates or spouses. The rest of the people we interact with for more than five minutes at a time are either colleagues, acquaintances or affairs.
So what stops adults from making more friends than the measly few they possess in order to keep going with the momentum of what they’ve got? Basically it’s a fear of investment, I suspect.
Do I really want to bankroll a lot of emotional pledge on a person I haven’t differentiated from a total stranger before our first meeting? Indeed, I also question whether my commitment will be compensated sufficiently for me to devote an effort to that end.
And how come I never find myself saying “Want to play?” to someone newly met any longer? Besides being “childish”, it can sound terribly ambiguous to the point of insult or, worse, patronising. Imagine an encounter already fraught with insecurity, ego hassles and maybe one-upmanship being additionally burdened with simplicity!
Apparently adults don’t play; they work — even at relationships — to distinguish the activity from having fun even though, ironically, this takes away from the fun of working. But then we’ve been taught to realise long ago that being grownups means less laughter, less fun and gaiety, less spontaneity and of course, less friends.
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 12:36:19 PM IST
Perverse politics
NARENDAR PANI
Mumbaikars’ resilience in the face of the terrorist onslaught deserves all the praise that it has received. The city has demonstrated yet again its ability to roll with whatever punches the terrorists throw at it. There could even, hopefully, be an effective administrative response in terms of tracing the criminals.
And yet it is difficult to escape the impression that as a nation we are still unwilling to confront the basic question of just what is it that leads even a small fraction of our people to commit such heinous crimes?
On the rare occasions when the question does come up it is quickly dovetailed into a convenient political position. The Pakistani foreign minister couldn’t resist the temptation to attribute it all to the Kashmir crisis.
Others may even link it to what happened in Gujarat. But such arguments ignore the fact that Islamic terror is only one of the terrorist challenges that India faces. One just has to step into the growing Naxalite domain to recognise that there is also an active, perfectly secular, terrorism at play.
All varieties of terrorism work on a deep perceived sense of injustice. Often, particularly when the injustice is related to community pride, outsiders cannot even recognise it exists. In other cases where the provocation may be displacement due to overall economic development, the injustice is just shrugged off as an unavoidable cost. And when the two get intertwined they provide a truly volatile mix.
Managing so volatile a mixture is certainly not helped by a political class that speaks of Gandhi even as it justifies violence. Former prime minister V P Singh, who when the mood suits him is a follower of the Mahatma, has been virtually preaching violence in his efforts to displace Mr Mulayam Singh Yadav in Uttar Pradesh.
And even someone like Medha Patkar at times gives the impression that her non-violent methods are not succeeding. It takes a particularly short-sighted political class to justify violence as a legitimate political tool and then look pained when it turns into terrorism.
Pulling off such a thus-far-and-no-further approach to violence is even more difficult when the areas of conflict are not confined to a small part of the political spectrum. There is an implicit unanimity among Indian politicians that conflicts alone provide the necessary electoral dividend.
For instance, those interested in helping the backward castes have two quite different options before them. The option that is more prone to conflict is to pit these castes against the merit category students
The less conflict-ridden option is to develop incubators for backward caste and Dalit entrepreneurs. There are no marks for guessing which option the political class prefers.
This leaves the government having to control terrorism in a political environment that virtually breeds it. For it to even make a meaningful attempt to do so it would require tremendous credibility.
It would take a personality of great strength to convince a nation that while conflict and violence are okay, terrorist violence is not. And being the first prime minister to receive a lateral transfer from the bureaucratic hierarchy to the political one, Dr Singh has never been the epitome of political strength.
What is more, his spotless personal reputation may help protect him from charges of corruption, but his pragmatism often gives the impression that we don’t quite know where he stands on specific policy issues. And his recent setbacks on the divestment front tell us just how much his credibility has been eroded.
In the past he has been able to effectively argue that selling minority stakes in public sector units is just a means of raising resources without losing state control. The opposition then would be confined to the ideologically intense Left.
But with Maruti beginning as the sale of minority stakes and finally leading to the state losing control, the credibility of the move to sell minority stakes has taken a beating. So much so that the political opposition now extends all the way to the DMK.
As the debate shifts to the more volatile issue of handing over farmers’ lands to industry, other centrist political parties can be expected to get into the act. And several of them are quite adept at what they think is limited violence.
The Indian political system is thus so completely dominated by the ideology of violence that any idealistic youngster believes that peace is for the sissies.
There are still times when pockets of Indian society can rise above this narrow vision and demonstrate the courage that is required to destroy the perpetrators of violence with peace.
Mumbai has just demonstrated that the designs of terrorists can be demolished by maintaining peace in the face of grave provocation. But consolidating that inherent strength calls for a leadership with a vision that goes far beyond what our political class can come up with today
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 12:26:12 PM IST
ammO! naaku bhayam baabuu! nannodiley !
Posted by: Mr. Siri Siri At: 18, Jul 2006 12:15:10 PM IST
bhaaskar gaaru baagunnaaru , anupama gaaru kooDaa baagaanE unnaaru , madhyalO meeku endukanDii ee lEni pOnii bhayaalu ? :(
Posted by: లొట్టాస్ At: 18, Jul 2006 12:05:51 PM IST
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