|
|
|
General Forum: Love | | HOW TO SELECT A BRIDE | |
| Jai-Baba
In my opinion one should not treat the selection process as a fun.It should also be remembered in selection that all that glitters are not gold.Adjustment temperement should be taken in to consideration besides other factors.This aspect can be properly judged by elders in several occasions.
Man proposes but God disposes-this will be the ultimate result.
Posted by: Mr dyvadhinam yaddanapudi At: 6, Jun 2002 9:16:40 PM IST
Thanks mr.srini
Rule no.1
fact is different.14 to 18 is dangerous age to girls. Once girl passed that age, no problem,please clarify with your GF or ....
Rule no.2
Dont make it subset. Make it matrix because positions are changing.Once girl/boy is not able to meet their expectations, just they will change thier position in matrix.
Rule no.3
Tension, tension and tension
Rule no.4
Dont do this one.
magavalani takkuva premenchali aekuva aurtham chesukovataniki praytatninchali.
Adavalani aekuva premenchali , aurtham chesukovataniki asalu praythenechakudadhu.
So just love them. At least act
Rule no:5
Very big society baba, india, russa, US, gulf, china, kwait ( recent).
Rule no:6
That is the main problem. we dont know what we want.just we are comparing with others. my classmate got husband who is working at moon. so atleast i should get husband who is working at sun.
Rule no:7
I think you are very intelligent. are comparing girls with bike? do you want only riding? sorry....
Rule No:8
not necessary. all are very interested in fixing matches even though their presence is not required.we can get more than enough suggestions.
Rule No:9
This is the correct, because we have to bare. otherwise.
tommorows news paper.
bride/bride groom wanted. Divorce taken due to impotence on next day of marriage.
Thanks, contact so ans so, girl is having this much money and job. boy is having so many US cards and having so much software business in Hyderabad.
Mr.Ramojirao will be happy.
Dear girls.
Dont come to chatting with guy on marriage proposal.Once you become regular with chatting and phone. they will dought on your character. Just be quite and act smart , ask your brother and father go ahead with guy on chatting or e mail .Otheer wise just chat with your brother name, dont loose your patience, dont tell truth until it was completely settled infront of family persons.
eNJOY
Posted by: Mrs. mahila telugu At: 6, Jun 2002 7:35:22 PM IST
ya ofcourse y not!I am just waiitng for some kind of response.DOnt take it as serious.its just a fun mail got my friend.
Actually the reverse process also exists.anyhow thanks for ur comment.
Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 4, Jun 2002 9:08:12 PM IST
Hi,,
i think the way u wrote about girls i didnt like and especially 1st point......i think it also implies for guys also..
u guys may also met,, and romed with may girls before marriage,,,,,,,so the sames rules can be implied for the process of "HOW TO SELECT A BRIDE GROOM"
Posted by: Ms Spandana Spandana At: 4, Jun 2002 7:31:50 PM IST
hi
Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 4, Jun 2002 1:02:17 PM IST
hi guys,
Read this.I got from my friend.Arranged marriage
There are times in a person's life when he needs to take crucial
decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the
decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person
will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most
important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The
mere thought of this is very frightening.
Some of the questions that crop up are –
· What sort of a girl do I marry?
· Will she adjust in my family?
· How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few
times?
· When should I get married?
· This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but
then what if I make a mistake?
…. so on and so forth…
I will try to address these & many more questions in the following
sections.
The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage
· Rule 1 – Magic no. 28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the
time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-
2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent
about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would
meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job.
So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl
older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of
pressure on the girl's to get married by the time they become 24-25.
Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years.
So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-
4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a
guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.
Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will
never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such
thing as, "I will marry when I settle down".
· Rule 2 -- Subset of marriage-able girls
At times you hear statements like, "I am not getting the right match,
I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then". Well
the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a
match is fixed. From this subset, there would be girls who would get
married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a
match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & number
of marriage-able girls are fixed.
· Rule 3 – Competition for girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good
girls. In my own case, I was rejected by girls. So, if you are
looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working,
very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again.
There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls &
probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks
personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry
Aishwarya Rai, but then for all Ashs in the world, there are many
Salman Khans who also want to marry them. So, set your expectations
accordingly.
· Rule 4 -- Understanding girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know,
its difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure
you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more
difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I am still trying to
understand my wife… ;-).. Understanding your spouse is a life long
assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting?
This is where you need to take the help of your parents/ friends &
latest technologies like email/ chat to choose your girl.
· Rule 5 – Society expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the
process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is
pretty high. You can't meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It
is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing
criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for.
It is for the benefit of everyone involved.
· Rule 6 -- Marriage between equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the
girl's family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major
role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the
compatibility of social status, family values & caste/ religion plays
a major role. Its important to note that in case there is a perfect
match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.
· Rule 6 – Know yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person &
then fall in love. So, it's very important that you do a self-
assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, "Opposite
attract", while they also say, "Bird of same feather flock together".
So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen &
paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a
girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of
Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will
certainly not find the perfect girl, but then you would have a good
idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to set some
minimum criteria for selection. Don't forget rule no.3 here.
· Rule 7 -- Girl's Beauty
A girl's looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a
dumb blonde. It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it,
you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its
reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl's looks
are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria.
Later on it life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that
her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your
marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot
better on this topic.
· Rule 8 -- Taking advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it's very important that the
final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However,
don't do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while
planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close
friends on this issue. They are your well wishers. Secondly, in such
important matters its necessary that you analyze all possibilities.
Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others' advice, but
don't forget to take their advice.
· Rule 9 -- Own decision
All said & done, it's your marriage & your life that is at stake.
Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will
be facing the music. Don't marry a girl just because your parents or
friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don't work out
& you end up saying, "It's because of my friends or my parents that I
married you", then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the
girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for
whatever happens. That's when the marriage works out perfectly. So,
ensure that you marriage the girl of your choice.
How to approach the selection process?
From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process
takes a minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of
patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:
· Definition phase -- Define the minimum criteria for the kind
of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical
appearance, social status, family values, future career plans.
Remember the Rule 3 here.
· Lead Generation phase -- Place ads in various newspapers,
magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family
societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means
of getting biodatas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.
· Short listing phase – Based on your selection criteria, short-
list the interesting biodatas. The general process followed for
correspondence is as follows:
· The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/ herself
· Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page
profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope
· The initiator then sends the requested information along with
a request for similar information
· The receiver send similar information
· If the biodata is selected, it is passed over to the next
phase
· Casual interaction phase – Based on shortlisting, about 7 to
10 biodatas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to
follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then
interact for 10 – 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through
email/ chat.
· Family interaction phase – Based on the earlier phase, about
5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase,
the parents get involved & check the background information about the
families to find mutual compatibility.
· The dating phase – Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads
are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the
girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to
prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star,
what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the
girl based on her responses.
· The D-day phase – Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has
to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if
followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who
should be your life partner.
Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite
of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in
a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just
remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such
case, there would be no going back for both of you.
A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe
in the age-old virtue,
"Never do anything to others that you don't like for yourself".
Enjoy the selection process, it is fun…. ;-) ..
Posted by: Mr. M.S.Reddy At: 4, Jun 2002 12:56:17 PM IST
| |
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
|
|
|
| Advertisements |
|
