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Articles: My Thoughts | Marrying into other culture!
- Mrs. dove
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Recently a young girl approached me and told me that she is going to get married to a handsome man who is from a totally different culture. When I saw the twinkles in her eyes and the excitement in her voice I were totally dumb. Don’t know what to advice her, should I tell her to leave her love for ever? or should I bless her with an happy married life? I got confused.. but still I wanted her as well as every one to let know about how the life goes when we get married to someone, from a totally opposite and different culture. This is about my life, I were in this girls situation some years back.
When young I were very excited while getting married to someone from another religion with a totally different culture. He is from totally opposite culture. At first the things looked very interesting, different and new. But as the days passed by, the same things became the source of frustration, misunderstanding and hurt. There are many challenges to encounter. It is a difficult question to answer, because there isn’t just one single problem. Every problem has the cause of other problems creating a web of difficulties in which you get entangled. Before marring him I never considered many things. That is because personally I never felt any problem with these religions or cultures. But later I saw a certain level of religious fanaticism, that results in people believing that they are ordained by GOD. They are the only true people on earth and what they do is right and what they say or do is in the name of GOD. These things make them never to compromise!! no matter what.
But here I am not commenting on any particular religion or culture. Everyone has their own culture but when we try to jump into another culture, sometimes we may land on rocks.
No matter how rich you are and how good your new culture family may be, but still we miss our own family and culture. On the other hand we have to leave everything that we dream of and live for the others for ever. The things which I never considered has later left me in desperate situations for ever. Marrying another culture man, made me and my kids to live outside my home permanently and which resulted in not meeting my family very often. I cannot give my kids my cultural traditions. And it hurts me to think that my kids never know about cultural traditional that I have. On the other hand I’m not strong enough to continue to pursue my home and dreams.
To a certain point in my life many years ago I have totally forgotten all my dreams and desires. Certain times I have to ignore the insults and embarrassment they comment on my traditions and cultures no matter how sad i feel. Beside that to keep up my marriage, I have given them almost every desire that they wanted to support their goals. In doing so, I lost my real name and were totally abandoned by my family and friends. My elder’s words which were ignored by me has resulted in landing me up in an alien world for ever. If one is ready to accept to all these things then there is nothing to worry about.
You may think why I am still staying here? This is because not every thing is bad. There is good too. And that I believe it has to do with seeing the good also in him. And that my kids need their father. Once committed cannot be omitted.
This is not to insult or comment on any one particular religion or culture. This is only my advice to such girls who are excited to get marred into other culture. I don’t want to tell her not to get married but just wanted to see through the things which take place after marriage. I am very sorry If I had hurt anyone.
Dove
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