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Articles: My Thoughts | Equality between wife and husband
- Prof. Narasimham Brahmandam
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Equality between wife and husband
The feminist movement, often supported by politicians, (because women constitute 50% of the votes), are tending to disrupt domestic harmony in pursuit of the misunderstood equality with men. They are encouraging abandonment of duties that befall on women because of their very biological and psychological nature Gender equality must ensure mutual respect and consideration between man an wife. It should not destroy the evolutionary sharing of domestic responsibilities between them. Man and wife, perpetually holding a drawn sword and shield for protection of rights, cannot make an ideal home. Home is not a battleground of rights. It is a pleasure trove of affectionate service to each other.
Women of yester years were illiterate and bound to drudgery at home from childhood. But now a days, girls who have grown up as strangers to domestic chores are suddenly faced with them when they set up home. It is they who complain about the drudgery. Domestic chores cannot be avoided, especially in these days, when domestic labour has become dearer and scarcer with the betterment of poorer classes. The idea that some class of people should render menial service to fellow citizens is repugnant to egalitarianism of both ancient and modern thinking. A sympathetic stance of the husband, or better still, his participation in the chores may help. Many nuclear families of Indians abroad are already doing this. Use of modern gadgets may make the chores more fashionable and relieve the sense of humiliation the housewife feels while attending to such duties.
The employers of women have to contend with some handicaps of ladies, namely their biology, maternity, their vulnerability to molestation and scandals, their frailty to protect themselves, distraction of male colleagues etc. which would all have effect on their output of work. It should also be recognized that the employers who employ teen-age girls have at the back of their mind the exploitation of their glamour, though they may not readily admit it.
At the same time, domestic atmosphere for young children will be disrupted if both parents go out for work. Psychologists tell us that children deprived of close parental association are unlikely to grow up into normal adults. Any revamp of women’s role in the family or society should weigh the effect it would have on children in arms in the family.
Feminists and politicians under-estimate the above factors while advocating the so called equality of women with men. The movement for equal rights (whatever the word may mean), reservations in schools and colleges, jobs and parliamentary constituencies have all led to the build up of a ‘minority complex’ among women. Instead of winning what they deserve by perseverance and endeavour, they put forward specious arguments that some one is standing in their way; that somebody should gift them what they deserve. The deserving should work their way to the top and not claim it as a gift. A man-woman divide is fast developing, like the ones created between Hindu –Muslim, backward- forward castes and so on, fostered by vote bank politicians. In the process, no body seems to worry about the collapse of the institution of home, which was once the corner stone of the edifice of society. This goes totally against nature and its evolutionary path.
Behind all this is a misunderstanding of what women really need. They want to be looked upon as equal partners (preferably as superior partners) in the home and not looked down upon as inferior to the man or as his menial servant. They do like to see their husbands strong and dominating but somewhat like the genie of the Aladdin’s lamp, doing their bidding. With films depicting love as originating from ragging of the road-side-Romeo type, chivalry is fast disappearing. Women certainly need to be educated, to develop self-confidence, to be competent to take up a job, if necessary or if they find leisure. If they are ensured of the reverence due to the queen of the house, they would be happy looking after their husband and children and feel the purpose of their life fulfilled if their children are reared into good citizens. If women can take up nursing as a profession, what is wrong in their being good housewives nursing their own children? All said and done, Manu’s dictum holds good for all time that women (being vulnerable to violation and molestation) need to be under the protective care of a man-- father, husband or son.
Of course, all women are not alike. There are some who would prefer external affairs to home. They can be free to pursue a public role. But the percentage of such women is small, though they are the most vocal spokes(wo)men of the cause of women. The bulk of women, however, would be content to follow the biological role assigned to them by nature. In the ultimate analysis, each woman has to decide for herself what line she would like to take to protect her dignity. Education will help her do it. Trade union type of movement is clearly inadvisable.
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