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Unconventional Marriages
- Ms. Prasanthi Uppalapati

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Unconventional Marriages - which are not conventional - Intercaste, InterReligion, InterContinental - Marriages in which there is a lot of difference in the Status of the couple and so on. We can simply define in such a way that Marriages which parents oppose. The reason for me to write on this topic is recently, I mean one month back, I saw a program 'Reality Bites' narrated by Barkha Datt in STAR NEWS Channel. In this program, they explain about the real life incidents which are so shocking and they visit those places and the people and they interview them. That week's topic is on the issue of Unconventional Marriages. A couple who married against their villagers' wishes were killed. Theirs was an intercaste marriage. I forget the village and state. It might be either Bihar or Uttar Pradesh. In the Couple, one is from Jhatt community and the other lower caste. The bride's father , her brother and some villagers were arrested. When they were asked whether they regret their act, they said bluntly 'No'. I just couldn't see even the slightest trace of tears in their eyes or any feeling of remorse for what they had done. No one in the village support the couple. No one felt sorry for them. Everyone expressed that the couple by marrying unconventionally behaved against the customs of the village and they deserved the punishment and also they will said they will repeat the same if any one behaves so. They said they do not respect any law or the constitution. Another Pair, One Man and a girl who are Lovers were under Police Protection for they fear an assault on them when they marry. But here the police can't help because that girl was Minor. When interviewed both said that they don't respect these differences and they will marry each other after the girl becomes Major but they were frightened a lot following the killing of the couple. I just couldn't digest what had happened. I am so proud always that My Country is a Secular country where all religions can prosper , where all are equal, where everyone gets respect irrespective of their Caste,Creed or Religion. It is Hundred Percent True when there is any threat to our country from outside. I am very proud of our Unity. But to be frank enough I am so sad that these type of incidents occur at the social level making blots on my Mother's (My country) face. Everyone irrespective of their Caste, Religion, Profession, Social Status etc, etc, accept these differences. I feel now as if these feelings were deep grounded in the subconscious levels of the people.I mean atleast 60 % out of 100. Why is it so? I can never understand. I am very proud that I was brought up away from all these differences. Though We are Brahmins(Uppercaste in India), I never observed or heard my parents feeling the differences or talking ill of other castes or religions. What I studied in my childhood about various religions was engraved in my mind: All are Equal, God is One, Humanity is the true religion. My home atmosphere helped me in framing my ideas. I never see anything other or against what I have been taught in School. To my surprise, my parents also say (as now I attained marriage age. I am now 23), we do not oppose your views. But if you have any fancy about Love Marriage, we will encourage, but you should love only Brahmins. When I question them, why is it so, they reply that, you don't understand now, but you will have to face difficulties later in your age. I very much know that they do not oppose wholeheartedly but still they fear society and their comments. I feel that there will be 40% among the opposing 60 (who oppose these unconventional marriages) were like my parents. I mean who do not actually oppose at heart but fear the society. Some of my friends argue with me when I ask whether they support these Unconventional Marriages. They were against them. 1. Their point is what will be the Children's caste or religion? It is customary in India that Children be given the status of their father in all respects. Hence Caste will be their Father's. 2. Who will marry the Children born thru Unconventional Marriages? Is it a question? If they are good, If they are broughtup in proper manner, why should their marriage be denied? They will marry the people who were born in the same way or else they too will marry the people they love. Anyway the youth is not youth in the real sense. Their minds were still holding the old banners. Atleast 50% of them were not ready to take any risks. I just can't understand the attitude of Parents who wish their children to be happy life long and provide everything they want but do not accept to give their children the right to chose their own life partners. Why blindly deny? My request to Parents: You just bring up your children to be individualistic, see to that their decisions are proper and justifiable. Then you need not worry about their choice. You just observe and understand the person whom your children want to be their spouse, and take a decision according to their character but not on their communal background or social status or the property tags on them. Because all these things will not give a happy marital life to your children. What gives a happy life is an understanding spouse who is good in character and above all won your children's heart. My request to Youth: When you Love anyone, be with them at any cost. Otherwise you do not Love at all. You are the Youth and the backbone and future of any country and moreover who decides the destiny of the country. If you are not Ideal, If you do not think as you are educated, what is the use of this education? If you do not have the necessary courage and the patience to convince the society, What will you teach your children? If you couldn't respect the Humanity and Equality, how can you be called as Humans? My Request for Everyone: Just think in a broad way. Forget everything about yourself. Just think about how you behave as a human. Marriage is something which drastically changes one's life and Life Partner is one with whom we should spend all our life. Please do not take any decision vaguely. Think the Pros and Cons of the proposals. Everyone, I mean both the parents and the children need to be happy. I personally feel that children must be given the freedom to chose their Lifepartners because it is them who are directly affected by it, who has to live that life.

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